Sex Therapy: What it is, Who it Helps, and How it Works
Sex and intimacy is presented to us as fun, pleasurable, and fulfilling, but for some it can be uncomfortable, emotional, and even painful. From the movies we watch to the music we listen to, we see lust, love, and longing everywhere.
What do we do when our experience doesn’t match these expectations? Why is this, and how can it be helped?
Our relationship with sex has a huge impact on our mental, relational, and sexual wellbeing. This is why I trained as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist—to help clients understand how sex therapy can benefit all areas of their life. Let’s dive into the what, who, why, and how of sex therapy to see if it can support you.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a specialized area within psychotherapy that focuses on addressing the emotional, psychological, and physical aspects of sexual well-being and relationships. It is a type of talk therapy that provides a supportive and professional space to explore concerns related to intimacy, desire, function, and overall sexual health.
Sex therapy includes four key components:
Comprehensive assessment – Understanding your concerns, history, and goals.
Collaborative treatment planning – Exploring personalized strategies that align with your goals and values.
Self-reflection & cognitive/emotional processing – Exploring thoughts, emotions, and patterns that may be impacting your sexual well-being.
Homework exercises & medical collaboration (if applicable) – Integrating strategies into your daily life and working alongside medical or physical health professionals when needed.
Different Sex Therapy Approaches
Sex therapists may ground their practice in specific therapeutic approaches, such as mindfulness, integrative, cognitive-behavioral therapy, sensate-focused, and more. My approach is rooted in trauma-informed, feminist, intersectional, systemic, and lifespan development theories, which is holistic, kink-aware, and sex-positive.
Who Can Attend Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is available to adults (18+) of all genders, orientations, and relationship structures. Individuals, couples, and those in polyamorous or non-traditional relationships are all welcome.
If you are seeking therapy to address an issue in your relationship, attending therapy with your partner may be most helpful. However, if you are experiencing a sexual health concern in your body, solo sessions may help you reconnect physically, emotionally, and mentally with your sensuality.
What Can Sex Therapy Help With?
The areas a sex therapist specializes in may vary, so it’s important to ensure that their training and expertise align with your needs. Below are some of the concerns that I specialize in:
Overcoming sexual shame
Out of control sexual behaviors (OCSB)
Impact of trauma or abuse on sexual well-being
Sexual orientation concerns and confusion
Performance anxiety
Erectile difficulties & ejaculation concerns
Navigating orgasm difficulties
Treating painful sex (e.g., vaginismus, pelvic pain)
Desire discrepancies and low libido
Sex education and sexual wellness counseling
Perimenopause, menopause, and sexual well-being
Prostate cancer survivors with sexual health concerns
Neurodiversity and sex
Sexual fantasies, preferences, kink, and fetishes
What Are the Benefits of Sex Therapy?
Individuals and couples can benefit from:
Deeper emotional connections with their partner(s)
Stronger communication of their wants and needs
Improved self-esteem
Greater fulfilment in their sexual lives.
From inside the bedroom walls to outside in the world, individuals and couples will feel more at home within themselves.
When Do I Make an Appointment?
If you or your relationship are consistently in pain or discomfort, it is never too early to start exploring the issue with a sex therapist. Too often I see couples or individuals not seek help because their issues are not ‘bad enough’. If you would see a doctor for your physical well-being, you should see a sex therapist for your sexual well-being. You can begin your journey with me here.
What Should I Look for When Seeking a Therapist?
You can read more about choosing the right therapist here, but ultimately they should be a licensed mental health professional certified by either AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) who are global, or ASTO (Association of Sex Therapy in Ontario).
Is it confidential?
Confidentiality is protected by the therapist’s certifying body's code of ethics, state laws and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Therapists who violate patient confidentiality risk losing their ability to practice therapy.
How Long Will It Take to See Improvement?
Every individual’s journey in therapy is unique, and while sex therapy aims to help you find strategies to reduce distress and improve your well-being, there is no set timeline for progress. The duration of therapy depends on various factors, including the nature of your concern, your personal goals, and the therapeutic approach.
Your therapy process will begin with one or more intake sessions, during which we will explore your history, concerns, and what you hope to achieve. By the end of your first session, we will determine how many intake sessions may be needed before moving forward with a personalized sexual health treatment plan. This plan will outline your goals and recommended strategies to help you progress at a pace that feels right for you.
Throughout therapy, we will regularly assess how things are going. If an approach isn’t working, we will explore alternative strategies. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all process, and progress is not about rushing toward an outcome—it’s about learning, self-discovery, and meaningful change.
Do I Need a Medical or Psychological Intervention?
Sex therapy alone may not be enough for some health concerns. During your intake or initial consultation, I will ask whether you have consulted with a family doctor, urologist, gynecologist, or pelvic floor physiotherapist about your concern. If you haven’t, I may recommend doing so, as a medical assessment can provide valuable insights into potential underlying factors.
While waiting for medical input, we can begin working on the emotional, relational, and psychological aspects of your sexual health concern. If a medical diagnosis is necessary, I can collaborate with your healthcare provider to ensure an integrated, team-based approach to your care.
How to Start Therapy
Sex therapy is a space for exploration, healing, and empowerment. If you’re curious about how it can support you, I invite you to reach out. I look forward to working with you.
